selah...

There are times where we need to step back and breath.  It's good to stop... take a look at your life (and everything around you)... and breath. 
In several Psalms, there is a term used - "Selah".  Though the exact meaning eludes theologians, linguists and scholars, it is believed that this word means "rest" or "pause" - musically speaking.  It's not that there is just a pause in the Psalm or song, it's that you stop and look back on what you just read or sang and reflect on what it means.

Psalm 62:1-8 (NIV)

 ¹ Truly my soul finds rest in God;
   my salvation comes from him.
² Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
   he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.

 ³ How long will you assault me?
   Would all of you throw me down—
   this leaning wall, this tottering fence?
⁴ Surely they intend to topple me
   from my lofty place;
   they take delight in lies.
With their mouths they bless,
   but in their hearts they curse  Selah

 ⁵ Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
   my hope comes from him.
⁶ Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
   he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
⁷ My salvation and my honor depend on God;
   he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
⁸ Trust in him at all times, you people;
   pour out your hearts to him,
   for God is our refuge.  Selah

These verses are well-worth pausing for extended reflection. And so is this life that God has granted us. It is good to pause, to rest and see reflect on what God is doing. It's good to step back from your busy life and look at the big picture - as much as we as mere mortals can.

Breath... Rest... Reflect... 

Selah

wonder vs worry...

I used to worry about where (and when) God was taking us on this journey.  Now, I just seem to wonder at His glory.
I've never been a big worrier. There are many things that concern me, like not hearing from Donna when she usually calls, or when she travels alone. I also get very concerned about injustices to people I've met and the hurt that those things bring. I sit and look over our bills as they roll in and over the checking account with (maybe) enough money. I do the math in my head and sit relieved knowing that God has again provided.
I used to worry about paying bills and making something of myself, but not anymore. I used to over-plan to the point of frustration (yes it's good to plan and prepare, but not to the point of stressing out or losing sight of the goal). 


Here's a picture from our Vermont vacation - It was "operations central" we spent so much time planning, we almost forgot to go see stuff (not really, but we did get a little carried away at times). Proper planning (not over-planning) can allow for lovely things to happen. But there must be flexibility and breathing room. It's great to plan out the "route", but not if it means missing the "thing" because you spent hours studying the map!


I try to make time to wonder. I wonder at the greatness of God. I wonder at the love that my wife has for me. I wonder at the amazing providence put down for my life before I was ever even thought of.


Here's the difference... Worry is sinful, wonder is not!
Worry is a statement that we do not trust God.  It's a statement that we need to be in control and cannot release that part of our life to the one we call Lord. Worry is the word that defines the person who is unwilling to trust God with everything - no matter how big or little, easy or difficult.
Wonder is awe. It is comfort and trust. It is sitting in the presence of the Almighty, knowing that He is in control. 

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one.  Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:38-42 NIV)

I love this story! It's a great example of what I'm trying to say about worry and wonder.  Martha worried and Mary wondered.  

Martha was gracious and opened here home. She made all the preparations (probably getting food and accommodations ready for guests) - Something that had to be done.  It says though, that she was "distracted" - distracted from what?  That's where Mary comes in.

Mary sat at Jesus' feet and listened to him. She enjoyed the presence of the incarnate God and absorbed the moment for what it was - The awesome presence. She sat in wonder and in awe.

Both of these ladies made a choice.  Mary chose to sit in Christ's presence. Martha chose to leave his presence and allow the distraction of preparation over-take her (probably with very good intention). She was so distracted, she didn't even invite Jesus into the kitchen while she prepared.

As much as we like to deny it, worry (and wonder) is a choice.  We can choose to take our eyes off of Jesus and focus our the "needs" of the moment (to uphold our ego-centric way of life); or we can choose to deny our selfishness and enjoy the presence of Christ.  We can sit at his feet and wonder at his greatness, or we can struggle to make everything just right.  It a choice!

I am learning how to sit at his feet. I am learning to choose to not be distracted, but to focus on what God desires for me.  

I'm not "there" yet. I still finding myself in the metaphoric kitchen working out preparations so things don't fall apart.  I still sit and think about what's coming next. But little-by-little, I'm learning to let go - to sit at his feet and to wonder at his Glory.

solitude...

It's funny... Silence used to be something that I hated. I never enjoyed being alone, never enjoyed being quiet, never enjoyed solitude.  Now, it's a must.  I've been in Kenner, LA for a little over 26 hours now and even though I have some awesome times with my friends, I have also been able to have a substantial amount of solitude.
It started yesterday at the airport. I arrived at the gate with almost an hour to spare. I pulled out my iPhone and checked my email, Facebook, and a host of other things I check in the morning. I got the "busy stuff" out of the way for the day. Then I just sat. I listened to the news, watched people walk by, and enjoyed just "being".  I got on the plane and had both seats to myself. I stretched out, got my books and pens arranged, got my headphones ready and took time to quiet myself and breathe.  Slowly, in and out - breathe.

This morning I woke up early after only a few hours of sleep.  At first I look at it as a major inconvenience. I'm with my friends. I want to stay awake and talk and have fun.  Then, I realized what an opportunity I had.  I had time - time alone. I took time to pray, read worship and dig deeper into the Bible. I continued my book study on this blog (see pages to the right), and really enjoyed myself.  
Even the sounds of power saws and pneumatic nailers outside my window couldn't pierce through my solitude.  In fact, it's 9 hours later, and they're still going strong - And I don't even realize it until I consciously think about it.
Who would have thought that this guy who always needed something going on, something to entertain him would learn to rest - to enjoy solitude.

free...

Free at last!  Those three words were part of one of the most moving, most iconic speeches in the twentieth century.  They are inspired, inspiring and inspirational.  They are also very challenging.
What is the challenge?  Why have we been set free?  
In Galatians 5, Paul writes that, "You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love."  It seems that true freedom comes with much responsibility.  


We are not called to be free for our own sake, but to serve others.  God has a purpose for our lives (we've all heard that before). The purpose is to love and serve others - to care for the widow and the orphan - to lay down our life for a friend.


Where does this take me?  
Yesterday, I sang worship songs about "being in God's hands" and "God providing". I heard a message about the "sin of worry", and God's amazing provision.  For the first time during this transition, I have a full realization that I am set free!  I no longer have the burden of an 8 to 5 job or the stress that accompanies even the best position.  
Instead, I am free to pursue what God wants! I am free to rely on Him to provide our needs! I am free to find my identity in Him and not in what I do! I am free to show Gods grace, when it's the only thing that gets me through!
It's exciting and terrifying!  Like jumping out of an airplane (having faith that the chute will open), or cresting that first hill of the roller coaster!

I've often explained the "Will of God" as a rushing river - Class 5 rapids!  It's not always safe, but it always gets you down stream.  When you get bumped out of the raft, you just have to lay-back and float downstream.  And if you don't like the direction the river is flowing... Tough!  You cannot change the direction of that rushing river. You can try to swim upstream, you can try to cut-out your own off-shoot, but you cannot change the direction of the river!
When it comes to God's will, I've tried to swim upstream. I've tried to create my own river.  I've even tried to stay in the boat - holding on for dear life, staying as safe as I can.  In my defense, I've also tried to lay back and let the stream carry me - It's way-more easy than the alternative!  


So now I'm free - Free from the raft, free from swimming upstream!  It's time to lay back, secure in the knowledge that the river is going exactly where it's supposed to go.  "Carry me Lord!"

overwhelmed... in so many ways

As I woke up this morning, I thought about everything I needed to do this week.  I also thought about the "goodbye" reception at church, and the dirty dishes in the sink, and the books I want to read, and the house that needs to be straightened up, and the laundry that needs to be done, and the things that didn't get done before leaving my position, and so on... OVERWHELMED!!!
It's not just the business of the "to do" list.  It's all of the emotion tied to this moment - this day in my life.


Yesterday was the demarcation point for two significant things:
1) It was the "goodbye and thank you" reception for Donna and me.  It was wonderful and we were truly honored.  

We had a chance to stand up in both services and say good bye and ask for prayer.  I was so happy to be able to do this. I hope and pray that it helps people understand what we're doing and why we're doing it.  I also hope that it encourages and challenges others to examine where they are with God and if He is calling them to something new too. I was totally fine and held my composure until the end of second service when the sanctuary erupted in a standing ovation.  It was like having 200+ people saying "thank you", all at once. We felt very appreciated, very loved, and very missed... already. We were broken. I've never felt that kind of overwhelming love before.


2) It was the first time I sat at home on a Sunday night, when CRASH was still going on.  The teens and adult leaders gathered, without me, and had youth group.  I sat home, ate leftovers and missed them.  I prayed for them and thought about what they were doing and I missed them. 
It was weird sitting at home on a Sunday night.  It didn't feel "right".  There is a hole and only God can fill it. And He will.


Today is a new day...
Psalm 96: 1-3

1 Sing to the LORD a new song;

   sing to the LORD, all the earth.

2 Sing to the LORD, praise his name;

   proclaim his salvation day after day.

3 Declare his glory among the nations,

   his marvelous deeds among all peoples.

God is still on the throne, still in control, still loving us and caring for our needs.  His outpouring of love is constant and diverse.  He shows us His love daily and I am amazed! 

I can choose to look at yesterday and cry and feel sorry for myself; or I can walk in the faith that God has placed in my heart - knowing that He has an awesome plan for our lives.  I choose the latter. Not because it makes me feel better (which it does), but because it is the truth. And God commands us to worship in spirit and in truth - His Spirit and His truth.

Now I am overwhelmed in a different way, a good way.  I am overwhelmed by a loving God - an amazing, heavenly Father who knows every hair on my head, every broken place in my heart and every desire in my soul.

"Oh Lord, continue to overwhelm me with your love.  Create a passion in my heart for you and for those that You love.  Help me, daily, to listen and hear you, O God.  You are my Way, my truth and my life. Amen"

and so it begins...

As I counted down the last few seconds of 2011, I counted my last few seconds of employment at CHPC.  My emotions ran wild - Excited, scared, unsure, FREE!  But what has God freed me to do?  Where will 2012 take us?

I sat at the table with some of my dearest friends on New Year's Day. We had just finished brunch and went around the table with our prayer requests for the upcoming 12 months. Mine was simple (at first) - A new ministry position (not "a job", thank you).  Then as each person shared their requests, my heart grew heavier.  This decision, this faith step is more than just quitting a job and finding a new one. It's a challenge of faith - my faith.  

I feel like Noah building the ark.   

Yes...I believe God told me to do this (without a shadow of a doubt). And yes... I may look very foolish to some. But I will proceed and I will be fulfilled by God! 

Think about this... Even if the floods never came, Noah would still have been commended as faithful and obedient to the Lord.

I must admit, that there are times when fear grabs hold. There I times when I think, "What am I doing?  Why am I leaving this wonderful position? How am we going to survive?" Then I repent and realize that I am not in control, nor have I ever been.  This is not my life, my job, my house - These are just things that God has given me stewardship over for a time.

I will move forward in the freedom of Christ. I will continue to extol His faithfulness. And I will continue to build that ark - no matter how foolish I may seem.

"For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." 1 Corinthians 18 (NIV)