ask...

I love the way God walks us through trials. I love the way He pours our more of Himself just when we need it most.  I love that the Holy Spirit is present and picks us up every time we fall.  He is always there...
Praise be to our Lord!


I believe that the Bible teaches us that God answers every prayer. Sometimes "yes", sometimes "no", sometimes "go" and sometimes "wait". The key is learning how to hear the answer. In John 10, Jesus tells a parable of the Good Shepherd.  This story teaches of a shepherd that knows his sheep and sacrifices to protect them.  It also says that the sheep know him.  Do you know the shepherd?  Can you hear his voice?


As we walk out this journey we call "life", we need all the help we can get.  The moment we forget that is the moment that we lose direction. It funny because I am so ashamed to ask for directions when I'm lost - Thank goodness for GPS!


I remember being in Milan, Italy a few years back. We needed to buy bus tickets to go into town that day.  The hotel where we stayed was outside of the town center and also outside of English-speaking shops.  We went into the tobacco shop - because that's where you buy bus tickets - and asked if anyone spoke English. No one did.  Not one! I was the only one who studied a little Italian so I tried in futility to ask for help. After completely failing our task, we turned around, tail between our legs, and headed back to our hotel to beg for help.  The concierge spoke some English and gave us a small note to give the man at the ticket counter.  When we got to the shop, I was so embarrassed from my previous foible, I wouldn't even go in.


What if I approached God like that?  What if I was embarrassed to send my requests heavenward? What if I fail to confidently enter the throne room with my petitions?  The only one who would lose is me!  If Donna and our friend Kande hadn't gone back in that shop with that note, we would have never seen downtown Milan. We would have been stuck in the suburb of the hotel looking at apartments and factories.  Instead, we saw the grand gallery and the Duomo Milano (cathedral).  


Over the past year, I applied to dozens of churches and para church ministries around the country. I interview with a few.  I am glad my heavenly Father said, "No". I'm glad He told me to wait.  He so lovingly gives us what we need. I'm thankful that He also lovingly withholds what we don't need! Had I taken one of those other positions, I would've missed out on "Great" for the sake of settling for "Good".


Asking God for things is fine. Asking God for His will to be fulfilled in you is awesome!  It's not about getting what you want. It's about getting what He wants for you!


"Until now you have not asked for anything in my name, ask now and receive that your joy may be full" John 16:24

friends...

I am amazed at the faithfulness in prayer displayed by our friends. For over 9 months, we have sent countless emails and have had numerous conversations about our new path in life.  We have had dinners and small group meetings where the conversation seemed to dwell on the prayer needs of this transition. We even had some of our closest friends reading through the book, Listening Hearts with us in an attempt to hear what God was speaking to us.
Our friends have been so faithful!


It's hard to go through a transition in life. Even the exciting ones.  The ambiguity of the future and even of the current situation to which you are surrendering yourself can be draining on you heart, your soul, your mind, your strength.  God has truly made us holistic beings, and every part of us needs to be fed, encouraged, nurtured and loved.  
Our friends are loving!


It seems like only last week that we had a picnic on the deck with several friends gathered - the ones that had read the aforementioned book.  We ate, we shared stories and we laughed a lot!  Then, after dinner, our friends gathered around us, laid hands on us and prayed. We cried.  They cried.  They shared words from the Lord.  They prayed in earnest with heart and love. They showered us with their supplications and we were blessed!  
Our friends are warriors!


So... in just a few days we move to Grove City.  Not leaving our friends, but knowing that it's just a longer commute to have lunch!  We know that our closest friendships will endure. Truly, this is a crucible to refine us and our friendships.  We know that there are already new friends, just waiting to be made - new people that God has placed just for us! It doesn't make it easy to leave the ones we love, just a little more safe. Our door is always open - come visit for a while. 


All in all, we are thankful to an awesome God - who knows us and our needs, and surrounds with amazing friends!  

awake and ready...

It's funny how God begins to prepare you for something, before you're even thinking about it.  Lately, I've been getting very tired around 10:00pm - consistently and without reason. I've not been doing any crazy work to exhaust myself, nor have I been exercising to any extent.  But it seems every night these past few weeks, the nods begin to happen!

The flip-side of that coin is that every morning, I've been awaken between 6:00 and 6:30 - And I mean wide-awake!  I lay in bed and my brain starts revving for the day.  It reminds me of the old movies when the characters go into a massive building or warehouse and flip the breaker and all of those huge mercury lights flicker and hum as the come to life with radiant light. 

All of a sudden, I'm running through my checklist for the day (and sometimes the week).  I think about the people I need to see and interact with and what we need to talk about. I think analyze the dog stirring at the end of the bed, looking up to check if anyone is awake yet to pet his chin.  But the one thing that alluded me, the one question that seemed to go unanswered was "Why?"  "Why am I so wide awake?"  And "Why can't I stay up past 10:00 anymore?" The answer is found in 1 & 2 Samuel.
We find the answer in the account of King David's life.  We see a young shepherd boy, anointed as king of Israel, for no other reason (not height nor strength, nor affluence of family), than the fact that God said so.  This humble young man saw the Goliath opposing the Armies of Israel as he took provisions to his brothers. He saw the giant taunting the army, asking for worthy champion - Israel's finest warrior - to come forth and meet him in one-on-one combat. But he also heard that 9-foot behemoth curse God's people, then curse the God of those people. That was enough!

This "chosen one" hearkened back to his meager days of shepherding - Days spent in the fields, alone with his sheep and his harp and his simple sling.  He remembered in an instant how he learned to peel the bark of of a tree with a small stone hurled at great speeds - The type of speed and precision that could kill an on-coming bear, or an offending giant!
You see, God had a plan!  God was preparing that boy, 8th in the line of Jesse, for great things!  It was that shepherd/musician who slayed the champion of the Philistines that day. Not a king, or a great warrior. Simply an obedient teenager that listened to God, and was prepared by God to do great things!


No... I am not planning on slaying giants - At least in the literal sense, but God is preparing me! I have been gently forced to awaken at an early hour and fall to slumber earlier that usual... All because God has a plan.  I have been enjoying more time with Him in the morning.  I have been able to see my wife before she heads to work. I have been getting the work done around the house that needs to be done...soon!  And I am being prepared to get back into the swing of full-time work.


I am a morning person!  I love the mornings! My thinking is clear and my focus is acute. In fact, I began writing this post at 6:30am!  I may miss-out on some of my favorite TV series, but who really needs them? 
God is omniscient, and He knows what He's doing. Thank you, Lord, for that gentle nudge that I have needed to prepare me for what's next!
In summary: I am being prepared, I am awake, and I am ready!

prayer...

And we are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him. And since we know he hears us when we make our requests, we also know that he will give us what we ask for. 1 John 5:14-15


I love this scripture! And not because is a promise to give us everything, but because it is a promise to give us everything we need that is asked for in His will and His time.  So many scriptures like this are pulled out of context and used to assert our Santa Claus or Grandpa-like visions of God. We see an old, long haired, bearded man, usually sporting a shiny white tunic or robe, glowing with a golden serving platter behind his head. And we dare to call this image God. We step in the queue, and prepare our wish list with expectation and enthusiasm, giddy like a child waiting in the line at Macy's on December 23rd. We approach God and ask - as if He owes us something or at worse, as if we deserve it.


I worked with a guy named Tommy years ago in one of many restaurant jobs I had. One day he asked me about my faith and what I thought about prayer.  After my feeble attempt at explaining what I thought prayer was, he told me what he believed it to be...
     "Prayers are like magic wishes. You only get so many of them during your life.  When they are all gone, that's it. No more!"


That made me sad, and no matter how much I tried to let him know that prayers were not limited and that prayer was a wonderful conversation with God, he could not shake the misguided understanding that God was a magic genie and that he limited the amount of requests.  He had it deeply ingrained that: God didn't care, that prayer was one way - just about asking for things, and that there was no method to receiving - Just luck.


Scriptures teach us that God loves us and wants the best for us. That doesn't always mean that He says yes to our requests, but it does mean that He will say yes sometimes (and no  other times).  But the one thing we really miss in all of these discussions is this: Are we asking in "God's will"?  Are we asking for things that we want or are we asking for the things that God wants for us?  And remember... God will only give us good things!


There is such hope in praying in Jesus' name and for his will.  It frees us from having to worry about our own desires and needs. It allows us to focus on Christ and obeying His commands. It allows us to look to serving others and loving people with the love of our eternal, heavenly Father.  Praying in The name of Christ brings wonderful results. And yes... sometimes the answer is "no".  Sometimes the answer is wait.  Yet other times the answer is a resounding, "yes"; and the abundance of God's grace and provision flows out like a rushing river - white-capped and uncontrollable!  It's wonderful! It's scary! and it is such a blessing!


"Until now, you have asked for nothing in my name. Ask and receive and your joy may be complete"  John 16:24

a breakthrough...

Yesterday, I took the day to pray and fast.  I put the day's "stuff" on hold and just sought the Father.  It's important what went into that - It wasn't just a "wake up in the morning and decide to fast" moment. For me, it had to be planned. I put it on my calendar and prayed about it and prepared my heart and my physical self for it.

What a day it was. I had so many breakthroughs!  Paul writes, in several of his epistles, to be "in a constant attitude of prayer" or "to pray without ceasing". Yesterday, I was able to experience that in a new way.  This was not the first time I've fasted, nor was it the first time I devoted a large chunk of time to prayer; but for some reason, God showed up!  Now, I know know God is always there and that He is always at work. But yesterday was special.  I think it had less to do with God "showing up" and was more about God removing the "stuff" that was in the way of me seeing him.  It was like the earplugs had been pulled-out, and my eyes were opened.

With all of that being said, there were no major revelations, no discernibly path.  What there was, was a tangible presence - a peace that wrapped around me like a winter fog. It was intense and it was refreshing! It was scary and it was freeing!  God is so good!

There are still many decision to be made. There is a move in the future - whether it be a physical move or just a spiritual move is still up in the air.  There are still many prayers to pray and songs to sing! But there is God... and He is with me!

how great is our God...

I love to worship! I love the fact that God loves when we worship Him!
God is great and worthy to be praised!  I love that the God of the universe, the Lord of all, The King of kings chooses to "inhabit the praise of his people".
Inhabit me, oh God! You are welcome here!

Psalm 150 (NLT)

 Praise the Lord!

Praise God in his sanctuary;

    praise him in his mighty heaven!

Praise him for his mighty works;

    praise his unequaled greatness!

Praise him with a blast of the ram’s horn;

    praise him with the lyre and harp!

Praise him with the tambourine and dancing;

    praise him with strings and flutes!

Praise him with a clash of cymbals;

    praise him with loud clanging cymbals.

Let everything that breathes sing praises to the Lord!

Praise the Lord!

more lenten thoughts...

I discussed the concept of Lent in an earlier post. I wrote of fasting and contemplation.  This post is a little different.  The lighter (and tastier) side of Lent - In fact, my two favorite results of Lent...

1) Waffles!  Did you know waffles are a product of the Lenten fast?  The root of the word "waffle" is the same as the word "wafer". 

Several hundred years ago in Europe, good, God-fearing Christians would fast food during Lent. No food at all... with one exception.  When they partook in The Lord's Supper or communion, they were allowed to eat the "host" or the wafer that the priest gave them.  Soon, people realized that it was okay to eat wafers everyday - in communion with Christ of course!  As this trend progressed through the years, wafer makers and bakers started producing bigger and bigger wafers to help curb the parishioners hunger as the days drew on until Easter.

Soon, wafers evolved into "eggy", leavened treats (as opposed to the dry, tasteless, unleavened wafers you got at the church). They were tasty, malty and covered with powdered sugar.  The ultimate Lenten loophole!

2) Bock/Dark Beer.  Monks in Germany, Austria and Czechoslovakia had an epiphany of their own.  This was not necessarily a "holy epiphany", but it was most definitely inspired (and involved spirits)!  During Lent, hard-working Christians began losing energy.  No protein, no carbs, no "nothing"!   And while they were forbidden to eat during the ritual fast (except the wafer on Sundays), they could still drink an assortment of beverages. These groups of monks started brewing heartier beers. They brewed with more malt and darker roasted barley.  This produced a drink that was darker in color and deeper in taste. The primary result, though, was that these beers, though low in alcohol (about 3-3.5%) they were fortified with almost double the carbohydrates.  It was tasty, it was refreshing and it was good for you! 

It became common for people to imbibe regularly during the day. The masses became more productive and Brothers of those orders became what we would call today micro-brew artisans.

Bock Beer and Waffles... Happy Lenten fasting to us all!

wanderlust...

Today, I watched (again) a YouTube video from last year's Resurrection Day Dance. It's a video put out by Up to Faith, Hungary, and is the world's largest flashmob!  38 groups from countries and cities around the world participated in last year's celebration of Christ's resurrection on Easter. Some were very small (in fact, the one from Australia was a single dancer) some were very large - up to thousands gathered on Hero's Square in the heart of Budapest; all were celebrating!  

Here's the link if you want to check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRaUnR1XtgQ

To think, that thousands of people took the time on Easter morning to celebrate Jesus' amazing triumph over the grave... How wonderful.

But that's not the topic of today's post. Today, it's about my heart's response...

Every time I watch this video, my heart is moved to my throat, and my eyes begin to well-up with tears.  What am I doing to impact the world? I watch as Chinese believers boldly go into the streets to dance and praise; I see people from countries that used to be closed to the Gospel (Ukraine, Kyrgyzstan, China, etc..) in public, dancing to a song of praise; and my heart longs to be there.  I want to see those countries. I want to minister to those people. I want to share the grace that God has poured out so generously to me.  I want to go!  

"Where do you want me, God?", is a question I've asked a lot in the last year or so (more-so than usual). My longing to go supersedes my funding greatly.  I would love to just get on a plane and go, but I know that the money it would cost would be a hardship for us.  That's not the point, though.  I know God will provide when it is time.  Wherever he puts us, there will be money set aside for regular mission trips!

We have started trying to live a little more simply now. We've been selling off possessions and have been trying to be better stewards... not so that we could buy more or even save more, but instead, that we might give more away. We are so blessed. our deepest desire is to pass along that blessing.  I need to go, not as a tourist, nor as a sight-seer, but deliberately as one who brings Good News!

“you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” Acts 1:8  (NIV)

...just wait...

It's now been over 2 months since I left my position at CHPC. And as we continue to pray where God would have us, we keep hearing "wait".  So patiently, we are waiting.
I have continued to look for ministry positions, send in resumes, and work around the house. I've also taken on a couple side jobs to keep from sinking too far into debt.  We are still trying to pare down our lives and our possessions in preparation for whatever or wherever God has around the corner.  It's been quite liberating to try to live simply.
Our roles have changed a little bit in the past couple of months. I have been grocery shopping and cooking (which I really have missed and thoroughly enjoy). I will be taking over the household bills and expenses soon. It's very different but very cool to be part of a team with my best friend - We work very well together.
My request, when people ask, remains the same... Please pray!  Pray for guidance, pray for the right position, pray for patience as we await our calling.

guess what I'm fasting....

Today is "Ash Wednesday". It is the day that traditionally begins a season that the modern church calls "Lent". It starts the season where we begin to prepare ourselves for contemplating what Christ did through His sacrifice ("Good Friday") and resurrection ("Easter" Sunday).  Those are a lot of "Christian-ese" type words we throw around this time of year, but what do they really mean?

Ash Wednesday - This tradition started in the 1500's. It was a way to get people into church. And back then, it meant another way to get money into the church's coffers (an unfortunate truth of the early catholic church). Traditionally, it begins 46 days before Easter. The ashes rubbed on a person's forehead are indicative of the ancient practice for mourning (going back centuries before Christ). Traditionally, a sacrifice would be burned in the temple for atonement, and the ashes would be placed on the forehead of the person who made the sacrifice, showing all that they were in mourning for their sins. This is where the practice of the ashes is derived.

In many of today's churches, the ashes are from the burned remains of last year's palm fronds from the Palm Sunday service. Many Christians will go to church today, participate in some kind of service and receive the ashes.  Many of these people will go back to work, out to lunch, get their oil changed - whatever the day's event may be - with big black stains on their heads, signifying that they have "repented for atonement and are mourning their sins". (Unless - of course - there is an important client or somewhere fancy to go. Then it promptly gets washed off!)

It's good to repent and mourn our sins. It is good to have the atonement that comes only through a relationship with the ever-living Christ.  But do we need to wear it like a sense of pride?  This will be answered later...

Lent - Comes from translations of Greek to Latin to early Germanic languages meaning "40 days" or the "fortieth day". It has a similar background as Ash Wednesday relating to dates and reasoning.

Here is my favorite definition of Lent, "The traditional purpose of Lent is the penitent preparation of the believer—through prayer, penance, repentance, alms-giving, and self-denial."

Many churches encourage us to "give up something for lent".   And many times, during Lent, I hear people talking about what they are "sacrificing". They talk about giving up Facebook or TV. They tell of the awesome sacrifice of "no chocolate" for 40 days!  But is this what true fasting is?

Jesus gave us many guidelines during His few years of ministry on earth. One of the things He gave us was an instruction on how to fast appropriately. Here are His words from Matthew 6:16-18 (NIV):

“When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show others they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to others that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."

He is very direct about telling us to wash the ashes off of our faces, and do not be obvious to others! Fasting is between you and God ONLY!.  

Though Jesus doesn't give a definition of what fasting is, we can understand what He means by understanding the way He fasted. The abstaining from food.  Biblically (and traditionally in Ancient Israel), that's what fasting is! Fasting is giving up something we NEED. Not a luxury item or something we can easily do without for 40 days. It's not about sacrificing the crumbs from a feast when we are already full

According to status updates, a lot of people have given up Facebook or texting for Lent this year. And while that's nice, is it really sacrifice? It's funny (in a sad sort of way) when we see someone saying that they are giving up Facebook for Lent, but then they are in a constant whirl of texting to stay informed. The texts, emails and talk time on the cell phones skyrocket! But hey... I'm "sacrificing" Facebook!

I don't participate in a Lenten fast myself (and if I did, I wouldn't tell you). I need to be in a constant attitude of repentance and prayer, year-round. I need to be on my face daily, not once a year.  Lenten fasting, to me, is a Band-Aid at best, and a full-blown delusion of righteousness at worse.  

I don't judge people who tell me that they are fasting for Lent. For some, it helps them get  closer to God. Unfortunately, for most, it's nothing more than the "flavor-of-the-month" trend that makes them fell better about themselves and fit in with their peers. And that's just sad.

If you would like to have a Lenten fast, I say, "Go for it!" But please, do it with the correct heart.  My recommendation is to start by asking God what He needs you to sacrifice, listen to Him and then do it.  If you need an accountability partner, tell one or two people or share with your small group. But remember... There's a difference between sharing a need for accountability and bragging!

penitent prayer, penance, repentance, alms-giving, self-denial - Lent

you will go out in joy...

Isaiah 55:12 proclaims,

"You will go out in joy
   and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
   will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
   will clap their hands."

I love living a life of joy!  I mean, really having joy permeate everything you are.  Joy is an essential and integral part of Christian existence, and more personally, my existence. The thought of "going out in joy" is a wonderful thing!  can you imagine waling out your daily life with absolute joy in your heart.  God shows us the evidence of that type of life: "The mountains and the hills will burst into song before you and the trees of the field will clap their hands".  

Wow! What a proposal!  How I long to live with that much joy in my life.

In the the Gospel of Luke, Jesus is asked by the Pharisees to admonish his followers, "Teacher, rebuke your disciples", they said. This happened as Jesus was riding in to Jerusalem on (what we call) Palm Sunday. But here's where the point of joy comes in. At hearing the Pharisees' request, Jesus simply answered, "If they keep quiet, the stones will cry out"! The joy of knowing and being in the presence of Christ is so great that if no one were to sing his praise, the rocks on the ground would. Those cold, hard, dead, inanimate objects would burst into songs of praise (if we don't).


The Old Testament prophet, Nehemiah is know for his wonderful quote, "The joy of the Lord is my strength." It is so true - No joy, no strength. But it is rarely read in context.  Nehemiah had been walking out faith with the people of Israel for years. They were rebuilding the city and rebuilding their faith in God.  This quote didn't come out of a party or from decadence of prosperity. It came from seeking God and relying on Him when there was nothing else.


As Donna and I have been freed by the Holy Spirit to pursue His awesome plan for us, we are rediscovering joy.  There is, at times, overwhelming joy that springs up like a fresh stream, pouring out from our hearts, generously and joyfully! I smile more, and I am way less stressed out. There have been no mountains or hills bursting into song, nor has there been stones coming to life.  What there has been is a renewing of our spirits and a refreshing of our joy.


I still have no idea where God is taking us. But I do have joy know that it is God who is taking us! I am content to lay back in the river of his will and be swept along as he orders the details and directs my path.


I've got the joy, joy, joy joy, down in my heart. Down in my heart to stay!

selah...

There are times where we need to step back and breath.  It's good to stop... take a look at your life (and everything around you)... and breath. 
In several Psalms, there is a term used - "Selah".  Though the exact meaning eludes theologians, linguists and scholars, it is believed that this word means "rest" or "pause" - musically speaking.  It's not that there is just a pause in the Psalm or song, it's that you stop and look back on what you just read or sang and reflect on what it means.

Psalm 62:1-8 (NIV)

 ¹ Truly my soul finds rest in God;
   my salvation comes from him.
² Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
   he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.

 ³ How long will you assault me?
   Would all of you throw me down—
   this leaning wall, this tottering fence?
⁴ Surely they intend to topple me
   from my lofty place;
   they take delight in lies.
With their mouths they bless,
   but in their hearts they curse  Selah

 ⁵ Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
   my hope comes from him.
⁶ Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
   he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
⁷ My salvation and my honor depend on God;
   he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
⁸ Trust in him at all times, you people;
   pour out your hearts to him,
   for God is our refuge.  Selah

These verses are well-worth pausing for extended reflection. And so is this life that God has granted us. It is good to pause, to rest and see reflect on what God is doing. It's good to step back from your busy life and look at the big picture - as much as we as mere mortals can.

Breath... Rest... Reflect... 

Selah

wonder vs worry...

I used to worry about where (and when) God was taking us on this journey.  Now, I just seem to wonder at His glory.
I've never been a big worrier. There are many things that concern me, like not hearing from Donna when she usually calls, or when she travels alone. I also get very concerned about injustices to people I've met and the hurt that those things bring. I sit and look over our bills as they roll in and over the checking account with (maybe) enough money. I do the math in my head and sit relieved knowing that God has again provided.
I used to worry about paying bills and making something of myself, but not anymore. I used to over-plan to the point of frustration (yes it's good to plan and prepare, but not to the point of stressing out or losing sight of the goal). 


Here's a picture from our Vermont vacation - It was "operations central" we spent so much time planning, we almost forgot to go see stuff (not really, but we did get a little carried away at times). Proper planning (not over-planning) can allow for lovely things to happen. But there must be flexibility and breathing room. It's great to plan out the "route", but not if it means missing the "thing" because you spent hours studying the map!


I try to make time to wonder. I wonder at the greatness of God. I wonder at the love that my wife has for me. I wonder at the amazing providence put down for my life before I was ever even thought of.


Here's the difference... Worry is sinful, wonder is not!
Worry is a statement that we do not trust God.  It's a statement that we need to be in control and cannot release that part of our life to the one we call Lord. Worry is the word that defines the person who is unwilling to trust God with everything - no matter how big or little, easy or difficult.
Wonder is awe. It is comfort and trust. It is sitting in the presence of the Almighty, knowing that He is in control. 

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one.  Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:38-42 NIV)

I love this story! It's a great example of what I'm trying to say about worry and wonder.  Martha worried and Mary wondered.  

Martha was gracious and opened here home. She made all the preparations (probably getting food and accommodations ready for guests) - Something that had to be done.  It says though, that she was "distracted" - distracted from what?  That's where Mary comes in.

Mary sat at Jesus' feet and listened to him. She enjoyed the presence of the incarnate God and absorbed the moment for what it was - The awesome presence. She sat in wonder and in awe.

Both of these ladies made a choice.  Mary chose to sit in Christ's presence. Martha chose to leave his presence and allow the distraction of preparation over-take her (probably with very good intention). She was so distracted, she didn't even invite Jesus into the kitchen while she prepared.

As much as we like to deny it, worry (and wonder) is a choice.  We can choose to take our eyes off of Jesus and focus our the "needs" of the moment (to uphold our ego-centric way of life); or we can choose to deny our selfishness and enjoy the presence of Christ.  We can sit at his feet and wonder at his greatness, or we can struggle to make everything just right.  It a choice!

I am learning how to sit at his feet. I am learning to choose to not be distracted, but to focus on what God desires for me.  

I'm not "there" yet. I still finding myself in the metaphoric kitchen working out preparations so things don't fall apart.  I still sit and think about what's coming next. But little-by-little, I'm learning to let go - to sit at his feet and to wonder at his Glory.

solitude...

It's funny... Silence used to be something that I hated. I never enjoyed being alone, never enjoyed being quiet, never enjoyed solitude.  Now, it's a must.  I've been in Kenner, LA for a little over 26 hours now and even though I have some awesome times with my friends, I have also been able to have a substantial amount of solitude.
It started yesterday at the airport. I arrived at the gate with almost an hour to spare. I pulled out my iPhone and checked my email, Facebook, and a host of other things I check in the morning. I got the "busy stuff" out of the way for the day. Then I just sat. I listened to the news, watched people walk by, and enjoyed just "being".  I got on the plane and had both seats to myself. I stretched out, got my books and pens arranged, got my headphones ready and took time to quiet myself and breathe.  Slowly, in and out - breathe.

This morning I woke up early after only a few hours of sleep.  At first I look at it as a major inconvenience. I'm with my friends. I want to stay awake and talk and have fun.  Then, I realized what an opportunity I had.  I had time - time alone. I took time to pray, read worship and dig deeper into the Bible. I continued my book study on this blog (see pages to the right), and really enjoyed myself.  
Even the sounds of power saws and pneumatic nailers outside my window couldn't pierce through my solitude.  In fact, it's 9 hours later, and they're still going strong - And I don't even realize it until I consciously think about it.
Who would have thought that this guy who always needed something going on, something to entertain him would learn to rest - to enjoy solitude.

free...

Free at last!  Those three words were part of one of the most moving, most iconic speeches in the twentieth century.  They are inspired, inspiring and inspirational.  They are also very challenging.
What is the challenge?  Why have we been set free?  
In Galatians 5, Paul writes that, "You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love."  It seems that true freedom comes with much responsibility.  


We are not called to be free for our own sake, but to serve others.  God has a purpose for our lives (we've all heard that before). The purpose is to love and serve others - to care for the widow and the orphan - to lay down our life for a friend.


Where does this take me?  
Yesterday, I sang worship songs about "being in God's hands" and "God providing". I heard a message about the "sin of worry", and God's amazing provision.  For the first time during this transition, I have a full realization that I am set free!  I no longer have the burden of an 8 to 5 job or the stress that accompanies even the best position.  
Instead, I am free to pursue what God wants! I am free to rely on Him to provide our needs! I am free to find my identity in Him and not in what I do! I am free to show Gods grace, when it's the only thing that gets me through!
It's exciting and terrifying!  Like jumping out of an airplane (having faith that the chute will open), or cresting that first hill of the roller coaster!

I've often explained the "Will of God" as a rushing river - Class 5 rapids!  It's not always safe, but it always gets you down stream.  When you get bumped out of the raft, you just have to lay-back and float downstream.  And if you don't like the direction the river is flowing... Tough!  You cannot change the direction of that rushing river. You can try to swim upstream, you can try to cut-out your own off-shoot, but you cannot change the direction of the river!
When it comes to God's will, I've tried to swim upstream. I've tried to create my own river.  I've even tried to stay in the boat - holding on for dear life, staying as safe as I can.  In my defense, I've also tried to lay back and let the stream carry me - It's way-more easy than the alternative!  


So now I'm free - Free from the raft, free from swimming upstream!  It's time to lay back, secure in the knowledge that the river is going exactly where it's supposed to go.  "Carry me Lord!"

overwhelmed... in so many ways

As I woke up this morning, I thought about everything I needed to do this week.  I also thought about the "goodbye" reception at church, and the dirty dishes in the sink, and the books I want to read, and the house that needs to be straightened up, and the laundry that needs to be done, and the things that didn't get done before leaving my position, and so on... OVERWHELMED!!!
It's not just the business of the "to do" list.  It's all of the emotion tied to this moment - this day in my life.


Yesterday was the demarcation point for two significant things:
1) It was the "goodbye and thank you" reception for Donna and me.  It was wonderful and we were truly honored.  

We had a chance to stand up in both services and say good bye and ask for prayer.  I was so happy to be able to do this. I hope and pray that it helps people understand what we're doing and why we're doing it.  I also hope that it encourages and challenges others to examine where they are with God and if He is calling them to something new too. I was totally fine and held my composure until the end of second service when the sanctuary erupted in a standing ovation.  It was like having 200+ people saying "thank you", all at once. We felt very appreciated, very loved, and very missed... already. We were broken. I've never felt that kind of overwhelming love before.


2) It was the first time I sat at home on a Sunday night, when CRASH was still going on.  The teens and adult leaders gathered, without me, and had youth group.  I sat home, ate leftovers and missed them.  I prayed for them and thought about what they were doing and I missed them. 
It was weird sitting at home on a Sunday night.  It didn't feel "right".  There is a hole and only God can fill it. And He will.


Today is a new day...
Psalm 96: 1-3

1 Sing to the LORD a new song;

   sing to the LORD, all the earth.

2 Sing to the LORD, praise his name;

   proclaim his salvation day after day.

3 Declare his glory among the nations,

   his marvelous deeds among all peoples.

God is still on the throne, still in control, still loving us and caring for our needs.  His outpouring of love is constant and diverse.  He shows us His love daily and I am amazed! 

I can choose to look at yesterday and cry and feel sorry for myself; or I can walk in the faith that God has placed in my heart - knowing that He has an awesome plan for our lives.  I choose the latter. Not because it makes me feel better (which it does), but because it is the truth. And God commands us to worship in spirit and in truth - His Spirit and His truth.

Now I am overwhelmed in a different way, a good way.  I am overwhelmed by a loving God - an amazing, heavenly Father who knows every hair on my head, every broken place in my heart and every desire in my soul.

"Oh Lord, continue to overwhelm me with your love.  Create a passion in my heart for you and for those that You love.  Help me, daily, to listen and hear you, O God.  You are my Way, my truth and my life. Amen"

and so it begins...

As I counted down the last few seconds of 2011, I counted my last few seconds of employment at CHPC.  My emotions ran wild - Excited, scared, unsure, FREE!  But what has God freed me to do?  Where will 2012 take us?

I sat at the table with some of my dearest friends on New Year's Day. We had just finished brunch and went around the table with our prayer requests for the upcoming 12 months. Mine was simple (at first) - A new ministry position (not "a job", thank you).  Then as each person shared their requests, my heart grew heavier.  This decision, this faith step is more than just quitting a job and finding a new one. It's a challenge of faith - my faith.  

I feel like Noah building the ark.   

Yes...I believe God told me to do this (without a shadow of a doubt). And yes... I may look very foolish to some. But I will proceed and I will be fulfilled by God! 

Think about this... Even if the floods never came, Noah would still have been commended as faithful and obedient to the Lord.

I must admit, that there are times when fear grabs hold. There I times when I think, "What am I doing?  Why am I leaving this wonderful position? How am we going to survive?" Then I repent and realize that I am not in control, nor have I ever been.  This is not my life, my job, my house - These are just things that God has given me stewardship over for a time.

I will move forward in the freedom of Christ. I will continue to extol His faithfulness. And I will continue to build that ark - no matter how foolish I may seem.

"For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." 1 Corinthians 18 (NIV)